The Lost Splendor of the Cherubs

September 17th, October 1st, 2nd, and 4th, 2022

At this point, I was using my Sony Mavica as much if not more than my professional Sony a7iii. The converging trend of liminal space art with my increasingly blunt, candid photography seemed destined to be a parallax slowly closing in onto one fixed point. Much like the Vaporwave genre, the liminal space movement articulated an unspoken reality that always existed in the ideas surrounding my art. As was the case before I discovered this genre, I dreamed of the same surreal, vacant architecture, same lonely classrooms and endless meadows, but now I had an insatiable desire to photograph within the dream space, more specifically with my floppy disk camera. In the waking world, I had such a bad habit of neglecting to bring a camera with me when opportunities arose that this frustration carried over into these dreams. I would find myself witnessing amazing vistas with no way to photograph. I had to reinforce the habit of bringing a camera around when I was awake so that I could train my sleeping self to do the same. Even so, my frustration could be just as bitter. I might become aware of my dream and feel upset knowing that no amount of shooting would bring these photographs into the real world. I'd sometimes shoot regardless, hoping through some dream logic that by sheer exertion, I might will these photographs into reality. Drunk off the nectar of sleep, I often covet these deluded hopes of transmuting sleep matter into wake matter.

Apart from the standard empty corridors and closed playgrounds, I found the Mavica was great to bring to parties and concerts where the overwhelming strobe lights in the damp, seedy atmosphere lent itself to these messy candids. It was also such an absurd camera that it often caught the attention of the artistically-inclined (that or I would forcibly bring it up). I suppose I could say it was a good icebreaker if I had any skill in carrying a conversation to begin with.

The photographs in this album are held together in a single floppy disk at around 1.45MB. For context, I would not be able to fit a single JPG from my smartphone onto its memory. The limitations of old computer hardware is amazing to think about in relation to our massive file sizes today. Even more strange is to stumble across neglected files on used disks that date back as far as 1995. As someone who is old enough to have aged alongside the internet, but too young to remember a time before it existed, it's strange to witness digital objects older than myself. The Digital with a capital "D" feels too suspended in time to be perceived as a relic. A digital relic pre-dating oneself may perhaps be comprehensible to a younger generation, but I suppose I'm not quite young enough to have that perspective. 

Emily and John Paul

September 4th, 2022

return to the reception gardens

august 29th and september 4th, 2022

The Borderlands of Elkhorn Slough

August 21, 2022 - 2:56 pm - 4:14 pm

I treasure deeply those quiet months of luxury when I was wealthy with time-- before the advent of new responsibilities that pulled me away and left me starved for wandering and unscheduled thought.

On an undisturbed day of mid August, I drove with Sam to explore the region of Elkhorn Slough in Monterey. I had received the suggestion from a frequent patron at my work who had lived along the coast. He advertised it as a sprawling wetland rich with natural beauty and an abundance of bird life. Admittedly, it wasn't very photogenic from what I saw online, but at that point in time, I was rebuilding a love for bird-watching that lay dormant in me since childhood, and I felt an uncharacteristic call to adventure. I was empowered by a realization of my own freedom as an adult to explore my passions more intentionally, aware of the independence I possessed despite my obligations. I thought it economical and clever to include Sam so as to provide an alternative to our usual outings.

Unfortunately, as far as a date, it turned out to be a rather dreary event, at least for Sam. The weather was gloomy and a cold pacific breeze swept up the plains of tall grass to chill her delicate bones. I was thoroughly entranced in the romanticism of wandering, which meant that the pace at which I walked or rather snailed didn't cover much ground. Having become infatuated with Tolkien and bird-watching, it took very little to excite me. I was quietly beaming to be in nature of my own volition.

I chose to take a detour to a small looping trail just before the main overlook, which led us out of the wind and down into the woods near a quiet corner pond occupied by seagulls (the only birds I managed to spot apart from a solitary towhee). We spent most of our time wandering there under the canopy of pacific oak trees and soft sand trails.

We stopped at a patch of open mud that trailed into a small bay. I balanced myself atop the ruins of a wooden pier and held my breath to listen for the distant sirens of shorebirds. There really wasn't much to see in particular, quite a dull scene to anyone else watching; perhaps a place for me to visit on my own when I could more indulgently muse on the beauty of banality. For now, I couldn't let my selfish desire to feel poetic run the patience of those I loved, and I restrained myself as best as I could for Sam, though I could have done better. Her company, as always, enriched the experience on the trail.

By the time we returned to the main road, Sam was growing tired and we both felt it was time to eat. At my behest, we journeyed just a bit further to the overlook to survey the broader landscape. I felt as though I had barely crossed the borders of these wetlands. I made a reminder to myself to return at a more agreeable time. We then made up for the gloom with some good Thai food.